It would be pretentious of me to say that I'm writing a new blog because I want to update everyone on my life...because, in all actuality, my life is just one of 6,692,030,277 (I looked it up) other lives being lived on this planet. We're all fundamentally the same, most of us have hair and families and problems and aspirations. Because of that, I don't want to say that anything I'm doing is of more importance than anything anyone else is doing. In fact, it's relatively safe to say that anything (or at least, lots of the things) I'm doing are considerably less important than lots of the things that other people are doing. Regardless, here's what's going on.
Anyone who knows me well knows that last semester was a living hell for me. While some things at South Plains College were enjoyable, most of my time there was 100% terrible. I did meet some really great and talented people, and I definitely learned some things, but overall...it's just not the place where I should be. I know that I've been totally fickle about my future, and I apologize for that...one day I'm planning on doing this, and the next day the exact opposite is my plan. So here's what I'm going to do. For this semester, the spring of 2010...I will be staying in Canyon, getting a job, earning and saving money, and seeing what comes next. No, it's not my first choice, but it's the best choice. It's not a good idea, financially, for me to return to college this semester. And even though I feel like a bit of a failure returning home after only one semester...I think it's the right thing for me to do at the moment. If there is one thing that I learned in my brief semester in college...it's that college is not the only way. It isn't absolutely necessary. For some professions, it is helpful, maybe even the only way. But, when it comes to being a modern musician...it isn't vital. A large number of the artists we listen to today didn't attend college at all. So why should I? I'm not saying that I'm opposed to college for other people, or even that I'm opposed to college for me...I'm just opposed to college for me THIS semester. I have no idea where I'll be going or what I'll be doing in the fall, and frankly, I don't think I should worry about it just yet.
If you read all of that, thanks. If you didn't, I don't blame you. I really appreciate all of my friends sticking with me through this tough time I've gone through, and am still going through.
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Hi,Ben. Read the blog and totally respect your decision. You have always been a high achiever, so I know that leaving school and living here this semester is, in many ways, very difficult. But I, and many people I know, stayed in school and wasted $$$$ beacause we did not have the balls to say, "Hey, this is not working for me!"
ReplyDeleteSo, as I said, I repect your decision. I know that you will find your place as a musician. Someday, something, someone, will inspire your lyrics, and we will all be able to say, "I knew Ben when...." :)
I hope that in a month or teo you will come and visit during One-Act rehearsal, and you will be comfortable saying, "I am working here in Canyon this semester, earning $$$ to help my folks pay for my education." What you are doing is totally respectable and respectful.
Let me know if I can ever help. Here is love from, Mrs. P.
P.S. didn't know you are a "Rocky Horror Show" fan:)
ReplyDeleteBen, Read it all.
ReplyDeleteI must say that I agree with everything you say.
I'm also glad to see that you gave those that are supporting you, your friends, props for backing you up. Great friends in this type of situation is so important, and it looks like you are going to make it far, and you're not doing it alone. I inspire to have the type of courage you have to follow my own dreams. And as I call you "my friend" I will always back you up. I'll catch you on the flip side.
Ans