Disclaimer: This is my opinion. If it differs from your opinion...that's why it's MY opinion. Don't get your panties in a twist.


Here's something I've recently come to understand. My high school years found me being quite musically snobbish, and here is my public apology.

There are two types of music in American culture. I say American culture because I don't know a whole lot about the music of other cultures...so, your average twenty-something (like myself) American generally has the choice between these two types of music.

1. Music that was/is intended to be good music (good being a relative term that varies depending on your tastes, obviously).
2. Pop music.

Let me explain Type #1.
Music that was/is intended to be good. I typically assign this label (I say label for lack of a better term, not to put things in boxes or to generalize) to music that is made to evoke emotions that don't revolve around the consumption of copious amounts of alcohol, or to music that has a rhyming scheme not based on the word booty. Now, there are obviously many exceptions. "I Am the Walrus", by The Beatles, is most obviously a drug song, and it was most definitely intended to be good, and it IS good. "Rapunzel", by Dave Matthews Band, is a relatively descriptive ode to pre-marital consummation, but it's totally awesome. Anyway, I'm rambling a bit...but what I mean is, this kind of music is supposed to make us FEEL something important, not just the desire to shake our groove thangs (which I am not opposed to in any way). Many quality bands and musicians fall under this category. One of my current favorites (excluding the two previously mentioned) is the British folk group Mumford & Sons. Their songs are unadulterated emotion, and quite varied in their emotional range.
Don't take this to mean that all emotion-evoking music has to be solemn or serious. That is most certainly not the case in any way. For example..."Sunshine", by Matt Costa, is pure light hearted happiness, and it's totally great. Emotions, even the quaint ones, are important to human existence. Arguably the most important.

Alright, Type #2.
Let me start by saying that up until very, very recently, I detested almost any type of pop music. I arrogantly discounted it as useless babble, created only to stir the pot of pubescent hormones running rampant amongst the young and the restless.
Now, I must say...I wasn't completely wrong. Lots of pop music is definitely not created with very...reputable intentions. But. On the not so rare occasions that I am in the mood to get my wholesome groove on...there's nothing I appreciate more than some Ke$ha, know what I mean?! I can get my "We Are Who We Are" on like nobody's bizznazz. Or, my personal favorite..."Party in the USA". Is this music intended to be taken seriously? No. No, it most certainly is not. At least, not by anyone with a brain. This may seem like a petty revelation to most of you, but to me, it totally opened up my musical experience. I can now listen to Katy Perry and feel no shame. Who cares if every single Bruno Mars song is almost identical in premise?! They're catchy as crap, and the most stoic of critics can't help but bump it while listening to Taio Cruz.


I'd love to sound like a true hippie and say something very 1967, like "Free your mind!" or something...but I enjoy personal hygiene far too much. So, I'll put it this way. Listen to what YOU want to listen to, whether it's "good" or not. I hate it when people follow do (or don't do) things just because it's popular to do (or not do) that thing. It's just as ignorant to NOT do something that you enjoy doing just because lots of people enjoy it. Being an individual is a personal thing, it has nothing to do with the collective mass if you're doing it right.

Now, I'm gonna get back to looking awkwardly unhip in this decidedly hip coffee shop. Dueces.

Leaning

What a fellowship, what a joy divine
Leaning on the everlasting arms
What a blessedness, what a peace is mine
Leaning on the everlasting arms

Oh, how sweet to walk in this pilgrim way
Leaning on the everlasting arms
Oh, how bright the bells toll from day to day
Leaning on the everlasting arms

What have I to dread, what have I to fear
Leaning on the everlasting arms
I have blessed peace with my Lord so near
Leaning on the everlasting arms


That's how I'm feeling right now.
Let me explain something to you, my friend.
I have nothing figured out. I have no answers. I am intellectually, emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted.
But...the past couple of months, I've tried God...and you know what? He's been working. Now, don't think that I'm treating God like some kind of weight loss plan, trying Him on for size and seeing how much sin I can lose per week. That would be frustrating, I think. All I mean is...for twenty years (that's right, I'm officially two decades old...weird) I've tried doing things my own way, and it never worked out. If there is a God (and I think there is), then it only makes sense that my life would work better with Him in control. Right? I mean, if there really is an infinitely intelligent and loving being somewhere, or everywhere I guess, then it is most logical for me to do what I feel like He is calling me to do. Of course, that poses the issue that I'm believing in God for purely intellectual reasons, which I have no desire to do, mainly because I'm not even a smart dude. Christians, especially the evangelical sort, have this weird and annoying habit of using these abstract spiritual words and then never explaining them, such as "being saved", or "feeling God's presence", or "hearing from God". I suppose after being with YWAM for five months, I can at least define what all three of those things are "supposed" to look (or feel) like, but can I say that I've experienced all three?

Like, being saved. Am I saved? I'm initially inclined to say no, because the word "saved" is nothing but a recycled word used for far too long and by far too many hypocrites for me to take seriously. But...I have recently come to realize that my life is not my own, and that I need help that humans cannot provide. So, if that counts as being saved, then call me Billy Graham.

Have I felt God's presence? You know...I think I have. It's not something I can explain on a blog with plain words, or even eloquent words, as if I knew any. Maybe there are some things better left unsaid. I think sometimes Christians try to explain abstract experiences so much that they just confuse people all the more. I'm writing this pretty much for the sole purpose of getting the words out of my head and onto...paper, of sorts, so I'll let myself be content with my own experience of feeling God's presence.

I'm gonna have to think some more before I go on much more. This is stressful, haha.
I miss my UDTS friends, and my friends from YWAM Tyler. Five weeks, baby.